Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Someone prompted me to find an abundance of insight and direction about the art of letting go. And so I came across another interesting book of John Gray, the bestselling author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Below are excerpts from the book:
- Women have a special need to feel loved just the way they are without having to earn it (women primarily needs to be loved for who she is rather than for what she does).
- But men also have a special need. They primarily need to be appreciated for what they do. If a man is just loved for who he is, it will never be enough for him. To fully receive love, a man needs to experience that the love he receives is the result of his efforts and achievement, not just because he is good and loving person.
- It weakens a man to get in a relationship where he receives more than he gives.
- A wise man knows that a woman is responsible for how she feels. There is a world of difference between doing your best to make a woman happy and doing your best and then requiring her to be happy right away.
- To undestand a woman, a man needs to recognize that sometimes the way to to make her happy is to emphatize with her when she is unhappy. When a woman feels bad or unhappy, the last thing she wants is some man trying to solve her problems to make her feel good. Instead of a solution , she wants to feel what she feels for a while and to have him undestand what she is going through.
- Instead of not helping at all, a man needs to realize that sometimes the best way to help is just to be there for her. In this case, being there is actually doing something for her. He ca actually give less and be more supportive. When a man gives too much, he ends up feeling too dependent on the outcome.
- What men need most is to release their focus on doing the big things. He doesn't have to do a lot more to make a woman happy. It is action that sweeps a woman off her feet, but she is not dependent on a man's doing big things.
- Even when a woman complains in a relationship that she wants more, what she is really wanting more of is communication, caring and understanding. When a man hears that she is upset about little things, he immediately and mistakenly assumes that she doesn't appreciate the big things he provides. He then concludes that he must do even bigger things to make her happy.
- When a man gets involved with a woman, if she complains about the little stuff, he assumes she is not appreciating the big stuff. He feels an even greater pressure to do bigger things, which causes him to ignore the little things even more.
- When a woman complains about the little stuff, it is really because for her the little stuff is just as important as the big stuff. Instead of resisting and misinterpreting this female tendency, men should focus more on doing little things.
- It is actually quite a relief for a man to understand that a woman can really love and appreciate him for the little things he does.
Hope you all create a life filled with love and success.
